Introduction

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We feel that simple values, such as honesty, spirituality, community, and freedom, are being lost. How easy it is to say how we feel about someone else’s behaviour, but scarcely can we utter a word of truth about ourselves. Many of us think spirituality is about outward conformity to a set of religious rules, yet we think nothing of the real inner spiritual journey of the soul. One wonders if community life has completely broken down. Our society seems to have made a mess of connections; broken relationships leave people bruised and hurting. And unsurprisingly, our freedoms seem to be slowly vanishing. We are fast becoming a society where it is dangerous to say what one thinks about important issues.

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Honesty

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‘Honesty’ is the ability to speak accurately about one’s own experiences and behaviours.

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One of the most interesting experiences I have had, in years of listening to and praying with people in small groups, is the discovery that when people find safe places where they can share, they actually want to tell the ‘good, the bad, and the ugly’1 of their lives. Often, this involves sharing their most personal experiences. This speaks to what I believe is a basic human need, i.e., the need for honesty. Honesty is the ability to speak accurately about one’s own experiences and behaviours. But to speak truthfully about what we have done and what has been done to us is not easy, especially when some of our most difficult feelings are involved.

Telling the truth about what we have done is called ‘confessing our sins’,2 and telling the truth about what has been done to us is called ‘confessing the sins of others’.
In order to move forward with confession, it is necessary to create a safe environment where we can share. We have found that the best way to do this is for a portion of our time spent together to split the group along gender lines. Then we divide people into smaller groups of approximately six, of whom two will be trained leaders who have experience of being in this type of small group, and are able to guide. This structure allows us to share deeply from our hearts over time.

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1 The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a 1966 Italian epic spaghetti Western film directed by Sergio Leone.

2 James 5:15-16 NASB

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Spirituality

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This struggle within oneself is what is called ‘spirituality’.

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A second reason for Living Waters is that many people desire to grow in their relationship with God. In European societies, lots of people experience what Augustine of Hippo (354-430) called ‘the weakness of the will’.3 Our will is a kind of mixture of our feelings and intentions. This means that we want to do morally good things but find ourselves either unable or unwilling to do them, or worse, we wish to avoid doing things considered morally wrong, yet we find ourselves doing them or wanting to (Romans 7:14-25). Augustine was building on what Paul the Apostle had already written over three hundred years before. No one had illustrated the conflict between our two natures better than Paul. It remains a deeply human problem.

We find ‘the willingness is present’ to do what is morally good, but we need help and support in the ‘doing of the good’.
This struggle within oneself is what is called ‘spirituality’. It is crucial to our relationship with God. We will need ongoing support in this effort and understanding people to walk alongside us with our challenges.

The journey begins as we acknowledge ‘it is He that hath made us and not we ourselves’.4 Though our will is weak, there is grace available from our maker. Grace is a spiritual power that comes to us when we pray. It empowers us to do the morally good and avoid doing the morally wrong.




3 (Siedentop, L.) Inventing the Individual. Random House 2014. ch. 8.

4 Psalm 100:3 KJV

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Community

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Relationships express ‘community’.

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Thirdly, people are social beings who want to relate to other like-minded persons who they can support and who can support them. This type of inner journey is not something we want to go on alone.
Everyone’s journey in life begins with the union of ‘male and female’5, our fathers and mothers. We were all born into some form of alliance, be it a marriage, a partnership, or even an abusive relationship. Either way, the ties formed between us were more than just physical; they were emotional and spiritual bonds. As children, we did not choose our parents or siblings; we just had to adjust to the situation into which we were pitched.

Deep distress was caused if the bonds between our family members were strained or broken in the years before we were ready to navigate independently. If our experience was that relationships with either of our parents or any of our siblings did not go well, we may have developed a style of relating to people that didn’t serve us well. We would probably have been left with a strong desire for new relationships in which we could receive unfailing love and acceptance. Because of this, we must find trustworthy people who can enrich our lives. At a psychological level, they will most likely be people who resemble in some way a ‘better version’ of our original parents or siblings. These relationships express ‘community’.

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5 Genesis 1:27-28 NASB

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Freedom

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Pursuing a biblical ethic leads to ‘freedom’.

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We continue to be people who wish to live our lives according to biblical principles. The historic Judeo-Christian faiths, which have influenced Western culture for millennia, have produced modern churches, spiritual organisations, and synagogues in Europe. Many of these movements exist precisely to meet this need.

Sexuality has become a political football in our day, and there is much confusion about what to believe. In this context, an increasing number of people want to process their sexuality within a supportive organisation that values them despite what proclivities they may express. This constitutes the fourth reason Living Waters exists; namely, for the freedom to pursue a biblical ethic, particularly regarding our emotional and sexual behaviours.

We have noticed the difficulties that arise when we try to express our views on sexuality in public. We feel that there is a decline in the expression of freedom. Media sensations, questionable medical procedures, and high-profile court cases have added to the sense of confusion surrounding the expression of the most private aspects of our relating.

We belong to a group of people who choose to restrict ourselves to a single sexual partner or none, not because we are somehow sexually averse but because we have come to believe that the biblical view is the one that makes the most sense. However, we have chosen a path that is contested, living according to biblical principles is looked on as old-fashioned, and having biblical views is seen as unjust.

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Summary And Conclusion

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The good news is that most of these values can be regained. Honesty is not forever lost, spirituality can be revived, communities are able reconnect, and freedom may yet flourish. When people start to speak accurately and honestly about themselves, it not only leads to changes in those people’s perceptions, but in the long term, it creates more trustworthy people. As we engage in the spiritual struggle more deeply, we discover our humanity, and in due course we develop a greater compassion towards others. Community building is a long-term project, but its legacy is a group of people whose lives have been substantially enriched. People who can speak about their sexuality can also speak about anything else that matters in their lives.

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Postscript

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For these and many other reasons, Living Waters 6 maintains its continued relevance.

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6 Living Waters (Suomen Elävät Vedet ry) is a support group for people who desire to grow in their  

  emotions, relationships, and sexuality www.elavatvedet.fi

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Andy Chambers

Living Waters Chairman